At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
