well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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