Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
