no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
