Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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