yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
