i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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