Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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