It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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