I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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