He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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