i wish peter jackson would direct porn
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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