were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
