someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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