she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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