a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
