I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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