okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
