I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
