At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
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