The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
