She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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