I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
