he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
