just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
