He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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