tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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