was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
