I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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