u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
