Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
