he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize