She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
