All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
