I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
