i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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