dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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