so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
