The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
