You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
