Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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