dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
