I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Come share oat with me in your robe
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
