So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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