I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
