forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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