i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
