so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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