I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
