waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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