her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What a dumb baby whore.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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