Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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