There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
