You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
jump out the window naked night went bad
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