my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
