im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
They have beer where we have blood.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
