Just cropdusted the office
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
