i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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